


Ours

by Softboyshawn



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Baby, Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 12:26:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softboyshawn/pseuds/Softboyshawn
Summary: Summary: You and Shawn have been friends with strong feelings for each other for a long while and you’ve entertained the idea of a relationship in the past, but it’s never been the right time. Shawn is finished with his latest tour now and plans to be home for a while. It would be the perfect time to date like you had talked about in the past, but there’s one problem. You’re pregnant.





	Ours

You jiggle the key into the lock of your apartment door. It always sticks, it’s so annoying. You don’t know why you don’t just call the maintenance guy and have him fix it. It’s always an after thought.

Sighing, you drop your forehead against the door. It was too much. Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you can feel your chest tighten up. When did you become the woman who cried because of a stuck door?

Oh right…you look down at your bulging stomach…when you got pregnant and your whole body went to hell in a handbasket along with your mind.

“Hey!”

You startle, bumping your head against the door before looking over. Walking toward you with two huge suitcases and a guitar case balanced on top, is Shawn.

“Shawn! Hey!” You smile ear to ear. It’d been ages since you seen him.

Shawn’s eyes go wide and he drops his suitcases behind him. His guitar case thumps against the floor.

“You’re pregnant!” He exclaims quite loudly and you shush him, looking around at the other few doors on the floor. “Holy…who? When? Oh my God.”

You look down and sigh. Great here you go again having to explain how you ended up pregnant and single. Though this time seemed worse because you had purposely not told Shawn for five months.

He was your friend, like really good friend. You had met three years ago when you spilled coffee all over him in the elevator on your way to work. You’d always been in a hurry back then, always wanting to seem perfect for work at your new job.

You didn’t even know who Shawn was at the time. He was just some guy who lived in the building. You had no idea he was a celebrity, and to be honest after knowing him for so long, you still can’t believe he’s famous. The guy is so down to earth it’s insane.

After the coffee incident you would see him every morning on your way to work while he was on his way to the gym. One thing lead to another and numbers were exchanged, you were invited to parties and late night jam sessions on the weekends.

Three years you kept in contact with him when he was home and on the road. Shawn was definitely one of your best friends and you had both entertained the idea of dating more than once.

Usually dating came up in drunk conversations. Three in the morning with half a bottle of fireball gone, the two of you would get cozy and talk for hours. Those nights made your heart swell and your cheeks flush.

You were gone for him and he was gone for you, but the timing was wrong. Shawn was too busy with work to be around, and he wouldn’t ask you to do long distance. You wouldn’t ask that of him either.

So nothing ever happened. Well, mostly nothing. Kissing happened. Curious hands happened. Sex and relationships didn’t happen though. There was a line and you weren’t going to cross it.

So here you were…your little secret out in the open for God and everyone to see. You’re regretting not having told Shawn as soon as you found out. Though the reason you didn’t tell him was because you were afraid of how he would react.

Would he be happy? Upset? Angry? Your relationship was complicated although friendship was still the core of it. Would he understand? Would he be jealous? Disgusted?

Would he even still feel the same way for you? That right there was the very reason you were afraid of telling him. Both of you had an unspoken agreement, that when he was ready to settle down and stop traveling and touring every year, you would give the relationship thing a try. A baby changed things.

A baby changed a lot of things.

“What happened?” Shawn asks, his voice dropping into that serious tone you’d only heard a handful of times. You know you’ve been quiet for too long.

He walks toward you, arms crossed as he assesses you for something you’re not sure of. He can tell you’re not happy, that you’re not like other women who are pregnant and very excited. He could always read you like a book.

“Who do I have to kill?”

“Shawn,” you say softly, laying your hand on his chest. “It was an accident. I was drunk and fooling around with my boyfriend, ex boyfriend, and a couple months later I noticed I’d missed my period more than once.”

“Why don’t you seem happy?”

“My ex left. He said it wasn’t his baby, but I know it is. I haven’t slept with anyone else. He’s just an asshole.”

Shawn chuckles and looks up, shaking your head as he bites he’s only keeping his cool to appease you.

“What’s his name? Was it Jake?”

“No Shawn. I’m not telling you. Even if you weren’t “The Shawn Mendes” I wouldn’t tell you. It’s done and over with.”

“Fine, but if I ever”

“Shawn. Stop. Just drop it.” You look behind him at the u the mess of luggage on the hall floor. “Why don’t you get your stuff unpacked and then we can talk about tour and stuff over dinner?”

Shaw looks back and rolls his eyes. “I’ll just shove it by the sofa. I’m not in the mood to unpack. I could eat though.”

You lean against your door as your feet start to ache. Swelling was getting worse by the day.

“You can always eat.”

“I’ll order sushi?”

You look down at your bump and back up. You shake your head and laugh, pointing at your stomach. “No fish for me for a few more months.”

Shawn steps forward and reaches hesitantly for your stomach with one hand. You give a nod of approval and he rubs over the soft jersey fabric of your tee shirt stretched tight over the bump.

Loads of people had touched your stomach. Friends, coworkers, curious kids at the supermarket. But when Shawn did it…it felt like something else when he touched you like this.

“What about veggie rolls? Egg rolls? Dumplings?” He asks with a smile on the word dumplings as he glances down at your stomach.

You smile big and nod. “I like dumplings.”

“I like dumplings too,” he says smiling, eyes still on your stomach.

Something about the way he says it feels like you aren’t talking about just the little filled appetizers anymore. Like he was calling the baby dumpling. It’s cute. Lil dumpling.

You put your hand over Shawn’s on your stomach and it feels so insanely intimate. Your heart pounds and you bite your lip. There was no way you could let yourself imagine a life with Shawn and a baby. He was not going to go for that. Not now not ever. You had to change the subject, quickly.

“What about steam buns? BBQ pork or the chicken teriyaki kind?”

Shawn’s hand falls away from you and you instantly miss the warmth. “I see how you are. You’re gonna make me order from the expensive place huh?”

“They are the best and now I’m really craving it now.”

You rock back and forth on your feet a little bit, giving him the best puppy dog eyes ever. You know it will work because he literally never said no to your cute pouting.

“You’re killing me. Alright, alright I’ll order from Chen’s but you have to promise me one thing.”

“Hmm? What’s that?”

“Don’t hide something so important from me again, please.” He reaches out and touches your stomach with just his fingertips, eyes locked with yours.

“I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

Shawn looks past you for a moment to the keys dangling in your door lock. He shakes his head, steps around you, and jiggles the key in the lock until the door opens.

“Is this why you were standing in the hall when I showed up?” He asks, dropping the keys into your hand and you nod, thanking him for getting the door open.

“Meet me in an hour?”

“No problem,” you giggle before you duck inside to change clothes and rest for a few minutes.

Maybe things were going to better now. Shawn seemed to be very okay with you having a baby. Maybe there was still a chance for your relationship.

______

Dinner with Shawn became an everyday thing. You would get home from work around 5pm and he would always make sure to finish with recording at the same time. Weeks went by and the two of you got closer than ever before. It was starting to feel like dating, like the two of you were pushing the emotional boundaries of being just friends.

It’s the fifth week in a row for dinner and you turn your key in the door to Shawn’s apartment to let yourself in before he gets home. He’d given you the key last week when you couldn’t get into your place to use the bathroom and you nearly peed on the hall floor.

You pick up the little Blue Apron meal box and push the door open. It closes with a soft click behind you and you head for the kitchen to put the box in the fridge.

His place was becoming more like home than yours was. You had shoes by the door, a jacket or two on his armchair. There were hair ties all over the place and socks abandoned under his couch. Dishes in the sink with lipstick stains, a bottle of lotion on the coffee table. The two of you were getting comfortable. Maybe too comfortable.

You go to the couch and sink into the soft white cushions like you did every day you came over. Your legs are swollen and fat, ankles have become cankles.

“You’re lucky I love you,” you say, rubbing your hand over your stomach. “I’ve gained fifteen pounds because of you and now I’m a human sausage.”

You kick your flats off and lift your feet up on the ottoman. You wiggle your toes and groan. They feel tight and itchy, like your skin is being stretched…just like an overstuffed sausage.

“Oh, good,” Shawn says and you turn to look behind you as the door clicks closed. “I thought someone stole our dinner box, but you just got home before me.”

“Mmmhmm. I was going to get it started but I sat down to find my legs look like bratwursts.”

Shawn comes around and sits beside you. He pats his lap and you turn and put your legs up on him. He works his fingers into your calf and you lay back and groan.

“Have you looked into getting some of those sock things?”

“Support hose?”

“Yeah. I read those help with swelling.”

You raise your eyebrows at him and a soft pink blush creeps across his cheeks.

“I was just looking up some stuff online.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

Shawn rubs his thumbs into the balls of your feet. You wiggle your toes and giggle. He shushes you softly and you look away, staring at the DVR under the TV stand.

A wave of emotion swells in your chest and you bite back the urge to cry. Shawn was so good to you and you never asked him to be. Not once did you ask for help or anything. He never said anything either. He just sort of did everything you needed and he always knew what you wanted even if you couldn’t ask. You try not to think about it too much, in fear it will stop one day and you will have to figure out how to do this on your own.

“Why?” You whimper and Shawn looks at you, eyebrows knitted with worry. “Why are you always taking care of me?”

Shawn rubs his hand up your leg and rubs his thumb over your knee. “Because I care about you and the baby. Do you want me to stop caring?”

“No but” You pull your legs up as you curl up on your side facing the edge of the couch.

“It’s okay to accept help and I’m more than willing to give it. I know you’re not close with your Mom anymore…and you sad none of your friends have kids. I just don’t want you to feel like you’re alone in this.”

“I’m not totally alone, I have friends who like babies.”

“You’re right, and I’m a friend who likes babies too. I’m also a friend who’s going to help you anyway I can. If that means rubbing your swollen legs and helping you grocery shop and clean your apartment then that’s what I’ll do.”

You wipe your cheeks with the backs of your hands. “None of my other friends help me like that though.”

“Have you asked them to? Or have they offered?”

“I don’t like asking for help. I feel like you’re just pitying me. Poor me, got herself pregnant and won’t give it up because she’s stubborn. You should be out living your best life, you’re an international musical sensation with five albums. What are you doing here?”

Shawn sighs softly and gets up. This wasn’t the first time you’ve had a similar conversation in the last few weeks. He knows it’s your hormones getting the best of you. He drops down and kneels beside you, turning you gently so you lay on your back.

“Listen,” he starts, placing his hand on your stomach and rubbing slow circles. “you’re going to have this little guy in two months. You’re already so big that you waddle.”

“Gee thanks.” You grumble.

“I’m just saying that you’re going to need much more help than you think in the coming weeks. We need to get you ready to have this baby and bring him home. I’m not pitying you, I’m helping you because you deserve the world over. If I pitied you I would just give you money or something, I wouldn’t spend all my free time caring about you. I’ve lived non stop since I was fifteen. It’s time to slow down.”

You put one hand over his and your other into his mess of curls. His eyes are soft and so full of love. The way he talked made you glad to have him around. If only your ex could have been this considerate and caring. You love him. You absolutely love him to death. You just…weren’t ready to say it quite yet.

“I promise I’ll be ready, and I’ll ask for help when I need it.”

“Good, and I’m always here. I can always get to you whenever you need me.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. I’ll be there for anything.”

“Thank you.”

Shawn leans forward and kisses your belly. You close your eyes and relax, feeling safe and loved.

The two of you make dinner together. The Blue Apron box contained the ingredients for parmesan chicken with a sundried tomato sauce and zucchini noodles. It was one you had picked out when Shawn handed you his phone to set up the meals.

You spend most of the time doing easy prep work while sitting at the island counter on a stool. Shawn insisted you go sit down on the couch but you wanted to help.

An hour later and you were ready to eat. The dish looked picture perfect on Shawn’s nice black dinnerware and you couldn’t help but smile. The two of you take a seat on the couch and turn on a movie to watch. It’s your turn to pick and you go for Atlantis the Lost Empire.

_______

Somewhere between finishing dinner and curling into Shawn’s side as the movie played, you fall asleep. The last thing you remember is Shawn running his fingers through your hair and humming softly.

You wake up in the dark living room with the soft glow from the menu screen of the movie illuminating the space in front of the TV. Shawn is snoring on the couch next to you and you have to pee.

Groaning, you get yourself up and it feels like you’re not going to make it. Every tiny step is like someone is pressing on your bladder with a cinder block.

“Hmm what’re you doing?” Shawn groans as he sits up and rubs his face. “What’s wrong? Your legs? Want me to carry you?”

“I have to pee and the baby is pressing down on my very full bladder”

You laugh deprecatingly. “I’m really scared I’m not going to make it.”

“Shit.”

Shawn jumps up and he stands next to where you’ve made it to the end of the couch. He grabs your hand for support and puts his other on your lower back as he walks with you.

“If it happens it happens. The floor is washable, you’re washable.”

“Shawn I’m not going to pee. We’re almost there I think I might make it.”

“If you do, I promise I won’t be mad or anything.”

You reach the bathroom door and Shawn releases you. You don’t bother trying to close the door and Shawn gets it for you.

A few minutes later and you open the door to find Shawn asleep leaning against the wall. He jerks awake when you set your hand on his arm.

“Thank you.”

“Hmmm no problem.”

“You should go to bed. It’s late. I’ll go home.”

Shawn pushes off the wall and grabs your hand. It makes your heart flutter. Such a simple gesture meant so much from him.

“Let me walk you home.”

“It’s just next door. I can manage.” You giggle.

Shawn shakes his head. “I don’t care. Come on, I’ll walk you home and tuck you into bed.”

_______

“Are you worried about being seen with me?” You ask over dinner one night. The thought had been weighing on you for a while.

Shawn looks up from his salad and shakes his head. “No? Why?”

“Well, you’re famous and single. Don’t you think it would be weird if we were spotted together?”

“Because you’re pregnant?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

Shawn stuffs a fork full of lettuce into his mouth and shakes his head. “No, I don’t worry about it when we go out, because it’s no one’s business.”

You push your food around and remain quiet. If people start posting rumors about you, or taking pictures or saying it’s Shawn’s baby, that could hurt his reputation. Not that it was squeaky clean like it was when he was nineteen, but still.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But”

Shawn raises his eyebrows and you flush. The conversation is over and he wasn’t going to hear another word. You know no matter what people say, he will keep you safe and anonymous until the two of you decide what you are. 

________

You bring Shawn along shopping with you for some baby supplies a few days after the conversation about being seen together. Your due date is on the horizon and you have next to nothing ready in your apartment.

When Shawn found out that you didn’t have a crib or anything, he said he was going to take care of it. You argued of course. It wasn’t as if you didn’t have the money to buy one, you just hadn’t gotten around to it.

So here you are with Shawn standing on opposite sides of a beautiful cherry wood crib in the middle of a Babies ‘n Bottles.

“Have you picked out a name yet?” Shawn asks and you lean on the crib, testing it’s drop side lock just in case.

“I have a few ideas. I haven’t fallen in love with anything yet though.”

You grab the price tag and roll your eyes. Why was something so temporary, so damned expensive. The child was only going to sleep in it for a year or two. Six hundred dollars for a year. A year or two!

Shawn comes around and peeks at the price. You give him a look that says he should keep his mouth shut. He was not buying this crib.

“What names do you have in mind?” He asks as you wander toward the bassinets.

“James and Luca. But like I said, I’m not in love with them.”

Shawn hums and plays with a nearby changing table mat. He checks that price and moves on to the bassinets with you. He wants to say something but he’s holding back.

“Do you have any ideas?” You prod, knowing he does. He never got quiet in conversations unless he was worried about upsetting you or he was afraid of overstepping his bounds

Shawn bites his lip. “I was thinking about the name Milo. I know your favorite movie is Atlantis and you’ve always said you loved that name.”

“Milo.” You look down and rub over your flowy maternity shirt. “Milo James “

Shawn walks over and puts his hand over yours. The baby kicks and you smile up at Shawn’s beaming face.

“Milo,” he coos, dropping to his knees and holding your belly on both sides. “You like that name huh buddy? You wanna be Milo James?”

Shawn receives a kick in response. He looks up at you in amazement, though the kick was probably coincidental, it still felt like the baby was responding to him.

“You have a beautiful family,” an older woman nearby says softly.

Shawn stands up and his cheeks are flush with embarrassment.

“Thank you, we’re very excited,” you say politely.

“I remember when my husband couldn’t stop cooing over my belly. It’s a thing of pure love, don’t ever lose that feeling young man,” the woman says, pointing at Shawn.

Shawn looks at you softly “I won’t. I promise.”

“Anyway, have a lovely day.” The woman turns with her cart and strolls off down a nearby isle.

“You love me huh?”

“Oh shut up. What was I supposed to say?”

You laugh and push Shawn into a bassinet nearby. “Oh I think you do love me. You loooovveee me,” you tease and Shawn turns scarlet.

He clears his throat and turns to look at a cluster of cribs on the other side of the isle. “Let’s go look at those cribs. We haven’t checked them yet.”

He was changing the subject. You smile, biting your lip as he walks over to the other cribs. Shawn was such an open book, he always had been with you. It made you warm inside, knowing that even if he wouldn’t admit it right now, he loved you to pieces.

______

It’s noon on a Monday and you’ve been texting Shawn all day. He’s started checking up on you every couple of hours, to see if you needed anything. Of course you could get whatever you needed on your own. But it was nice.

Today however you were craving really bad. Most days you want spicy food, anything spicy is your go to. But today you want salty and sweet. More particularly you want cheese crackers and M&Ms, together.

It’s almost lunch time and leaving the bank where you work as an account manager, seems daunting. It’s cold out and the closest convenience store is a ten minute walk, and not worth the drive. You look at your phone be bite your lip.

Shawn said if you needed anything just text him. Well. You need this. You bring up his message window and type out a very convincing plea for cheese crackers and M&M’s.

Immediately he sends back that he’s on it. That he was leaving the studio right away and he would be there in twenty minutes. Claiming he needed a break anyway.

Sure enough twenty minutes later, Shawn comes strolling into the lobby with a bag full of snacks. You head him off, leaning out your office door and calling him over.

As soon as he’s inside you close the door and drop the blinds on your window.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

Shawn holds the bag up and grins big. “Tell me you love me. Come on. How much do you love me?” he teases.

You step forward until your belly is pressed against his waist. “Love you so much. Like so so much. I need those snacks now.”

“Kiss me?”

“Kiss you huh? That’s all the repayment you need?”

Shawn nods and you put your hand in his hair, tugging him down. You plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth and then take the bag of goodies out of his hands.

“Thank you so much. Now you gotta go before someone recognizes you. I don’t want my coworkers asking why Shawn Mendes is bringing me snacks.” You turn away with your bag that has way more than what you asked for in it. Shawn was seriously perfect.

“Oh you cheat. That kiss doesn’t count at all.”

“It doesn’t? Maybe you should show me what you wanted then?”

Shawn grins and walks over to where you’ve sat down at your desk. He bends down, a hand in your hair and a hand on your stomach. He leans in, eyes locked on yours.

“This is how you kiss someone who brought you snacks in the middle of the day,” Shawn whispers and presses his lips sweetly to yours.

Your phone rings and you jerk back against your chair. Shawn glares at the phone as you click it to hold on line one.

“You gotta go,” you whisper and he leans in and kisses your forehead.

“I’ll see you tonight.” Shawn squats down and kisses your belly. “I’ll see you later too bud “

You watch as Shawn closes the door softly, waving as he does so. You sigh lovingly. Everything sinks in at this moment. You and Shawn had fallen into this natural rhythm of living with each other, supporting each other, loving each other. You hadn’t discussed it. Not once had you sat down and said “Hey, what is this and what are we?” You just were. And that was okay.

___

The next week Shawn seems to be getting home late every day, which you didn’t think would bother you, but it does. It really bothers you.

He’s over an hour late almost everyday and you end up starting dinner before he even gets home. He always says that recording ran over and he lost track of time but you’re skeptical. Not that you think he’d lie to you for malicious reasons, but he seems like he’s hiding something.

It’s Friday and you’ve just gotten home from work, and you’re exhausted. It was a long day at the bank. Several accounts were reporting being broken into and you had to set up new ones for each customer. It was a lot of paperwork and you were at your limit with the baby, work, Shawn being late…everything.

You forgo your apartment as you had been lately, and go into Shawn’s. The dinner box was already in the fridge when you went to get a bottle of water. Which meant Shawn had been home recently, but his Jeep wasn’t in his parking spot in the garage.

You wander into the bedroom and kick off your shoes near his closet. You were so tired, body exhausted and feeling extra heavy today. Shawn’s bed looks so inviting and you can’t resist laying down to close your eyes for just a few minutes.

What was a few minutes?

“Hey, are you doing okay?” Shawn asks softly, brushing your hair back out of your face. 

You open your eyes just enough to see him. The room is dark and you wonder how long you had been asleep. It must be well after 8pm if it was dark.

“I fell asleep.”

“I see that, I just left you to rest when I got home. I figured you needed it.”

You roll onto your back and Shawn lifts your shirt up and rubs your bare stomach. It’s dry and itchy from being stretched so tight.

“Have you used your lotion lately?”

“No, I always forget,” you mumble sleepily. “I’m too tired when I go to bed…I just…forget.”

Shawn tsks. The bed shifts as he gets up and you whimper at the loss of heat from his closeness. You can hear him rattling around in his dresser nearby. Soon enough the bed dips again and Shawn is sitting beside you.

Before you can ask what he’s doing, you hear the pop of a lotion bottle and then his hands are on your stomach. He rubs lotion around slowly, warming the cool substance with his hands.

“Stop being perfect.” You complain, pushing at his chest. You were too tired to deal with him right now.

“I don’t know about perfect. I’m just doing what you need me to do.”

“Why?”

“Babe,” he says softly, leaning over and looking down at you. “You really don’t know why at this point?”

You shake your head, although you are sure you do actually know the reason. You want confirmation. You want him to say the words without being prompted into it by you saying it first. You want to hear him say he loves you and not in a teasing or a best friend way.

“I love you. I love everything about you. I love this little baby inside you and though he’s not mine biologically, it feels like he is ours. I know…” He stops, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard. “I know this isn’t a traditional way to start a family, but if you’d let me, I’d like to be a family with you.”

Tears run pool and run down the corners of your eyes into the pillow behind your head. What Shawn was offering was actually a dream come true, but Shawn had a job to do that involved traveling and being away for long periods of time. This wasn’t news to you or him. Hell, it’s the sole reason you never got together and that was without the complication of a baby.

“But you’re going to leave.” You tremble, breath coming out shakily. “You can’t be a dad from a million miles away.”

“I know. I’ve been up night after night thinking about us, about you, Milo, my job…our future. I always come to one conclusion though.”

You sit up and Shawn takes your hands.

“It’s time. It’s time I start a future that isn’t touring for months on end and tiring myself out with only a week or two here and there to rest. After spending the last almost two months with you, I know I want to make that future with you.”

“Shawn, you can’t just make that kind of decision in two months.”

“I know. I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m not asking you to move in with me. I’m asking you to let me be a part of your life with Milo.”

You squeeze his hands. This was a lot to take in. You hadn’t considered what your relationship with Shawn would be like after Milo was born. Did you expect him to stay around like he had? Would he freak out once the baby was a real live kicking in his arms and pooping down his shirt tiny human being? Would you and Shawn continue dating? Was this dating what you were doing now?

“What are we Shawn?” you whisper.

“I’d like you to be my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend with a baby.”

“My girlfriend and our baby.”

You shake your head and look down. “He isn’t yours, and he isn’t your responsibility. What if you change your mind when he’s born? What if it’s too real and you cop out because he isn’t your baby?”

“I would never do that to you.”

“You can’t promise me that now. You don’t know what it’s going to be like to hold a squirmy little naked baby who relies on you for everything in its whole little world. You don’t know what it’s going to be like to wake up every couple hours to a crying baby that you don’t know how to soothe.” Your voice falters and you start to cry.

“Babe, please,” Shawn begs, lifting your chin with two fingers so you look at him. “I’m just as scared as you. Did you know that?”

You shake your head.

“Well I am. I get scared thinking about holding a squirmy little naked baby. I get scared knowing that little miracle is going to rely on me for everything. I get scared that maybe I won’t be able to handle being a father because I never expected this, I have no experience with this. I never expected to feel like this for you or this baby, but I think deep down I’ve always loved you and now here I am and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

He takes a deep breath and clenches his jaw, biting back tears that start to fall anyways.

“I’m scared to death of all of those things, but then I remember you’re going to be there every step of the way. And I know he isn’t my son, that he’s not ever going to be my flesh and blood but I’ll be damned if I watch you raise him on your own when I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. I can’t not be a part of your life. Whether I’m your friend, your boyfriend or your husband, I want to be a part of you and Milo’s life.”

“Why didn’t I start dating you three years ago?” You laugh through your tears. “I never would have ended up like this. We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if I had just said yes to you that night at your birthday.”

“The world works in strange ways. Maybe this is how we were meant to come together.”

“Maybe…” You sigh and close your eyes. Shawn puts his hand on his your stomach as the baby starts to kick.

“Let’s see how things go? We’ll see what the future holds?”

“We’ll see what the future holds.”

_________

Morning breaks and the soft light of dawn paints the sky a soft blue as the sun begins to rise. You look over from the window to the chair beside your hospital bed.

Shawn is there with Milo asleep on his chest as he reclines in the chair. He’s got his hand on his back, rubbing up and down slowly. He must have returned after you’d fallen asleep. You had forgotten your overnight bag in your rush to get to the hospital yesterday evening.

Everything happened so quick, it was almost unreal. One minute you were asleep in Shawn’s room, where you had been sleeping in the weeks leading up to your due date, and the next you were waking up with your water having broke. You knew you should have told Shawn that you were having contractions before bed, but they were irregular like your others you’d had recently.

Shawn got out of bed and rushed you to the car and off to the hospital without so much of changing out of his pajamas. He forgot your bag, the baby bag, and literally everything but his keys and phone.

“Hmm? You awake baby?” Shawn yawns, eyeing you as you shift in the bed.

“Did you bring my bag?” You yawn and wince immediately, every muscle in your abdomen is sore.

Shawn hums. “I brought everything you asked for. The carrier is over by the cupboard, and your bag is at the foot of the bed.”

“You’re perfect,” you sigh happily. “I wanna get home and sleep in my own bed.”

“Me too. This chair sucks.”

Milo stirs, fussing and making the tiniest noise of protest when Shawn removed his hand from his back. Shawn immediately replaces his hand and shushes him softly, rocking slightly.

“You don’t have to hold him,” you smile and Shawn gives you a look. “What? He can rest in his little bassinet. I want some loving too.”

Shawn stands carefully and Milo looks so small in comparison. He lowers him into the provided bassinet and turns to you.

“What would you like darling?” Shawn grins, leaning over the bed and kissing your nose.

“Don’t call me darling, it’s so cheesy. But I’d really like some breakfast?”

“Any special requests?”

“Meatball sub?”

Shawn raises his eyebrows. “I thought cravings were supposed to stop after you have a baby.”

“Maybe not yet.” You grin big and make a kissy face. He gives you a quick peck.

“Alright, I’ll be back. I’ll get one somehow.”

“Use your influence if you have to.”

Shawn stops, hand on the door handle and laughs softly. “Yeah, as if a deli is going to care who I am at 5am. I’m just some guy on a hunt for his girlfriend’s crazy cravings.”

“You’ll get it though.” You grin big and he hangs his head jokingly.

“I will, because I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Shawn crosses the room and gives you a quick kiss. You press your forehead against his for just a moment and then he’s gone, off an a search for the near impossible at 5am.

__________

“Have you told your parents?” You ask as you sit back on Shawn’s couch, Milo on your chest asleep.

“Not yet. I didn’t want to say anything until we were sure of what we wanted to be.”

You look over and giggle. “It’s been a month, you haven’t run away. I guess we can tell them.”

Shawn sinks into the couch beside you and puts his hand on Milo’s back. “I was thinking we could go to their place for Christmas and introduce Milo then?”

“Your mother will actually kill you.”

“Maybe so, but at least then they won’t be on our case until we arrive.”

You close your eyes. “You don’t have to say he’s yours. We can explain the situation. We don’t have to surprise them.”

“No, he’s mine. I’m going to say he’s mine if you’re okay with that.” You nod and Shawn threads his fingers with yours. “My parents know you and I were potentially more than just friends, remember that new year’s party last year?”

You groan and chuckle. “Yeah, when your mom walked in on you giving me a drunk hickey on my neck in the kitchen like a sixteen years old? How could I forget?”

“Mmhmm.” He chuckles “Y'know that actually works perfectly, because you got pregnant in March right?”

You nod.

“And I left for tour in March. We could have had pre tour relations.” Shawn grins and you swat at his leg.

“I think after your parents we could share with the rest of the world. I still want to keep Milo’s name out of the tabloids, but I think maybe if we share something on your Instagram that would be okay.”

Shawn leans over and kisses your cheek. He runs his hand through your hair and presses his forehead against yours. You sit like this in a comfortable silence for a bit. It was nice, just being together.

“I love you,” you whisper softly as you start to fall asleep.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author Note:
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please leave Kudos, comments and more! 
> 
> Find me also at softboyshawn on Tumblr and adubs91593 on Wattpad


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